Birthday Presence

Ever since I was little, my birthday has been my favorite day of the year. I believe now, as an adult, that what I truly love is all the love that is showered on me from those that I love and those that have touched my life. People taking time out of their day to call, text or send a note, means so much to me. It is a day of celebration with those I love most. A chance for me to be truly grateful and to appreciate the relationships that nourish me.

If you've known me long enough, or know me well, you know that it has been a long standing dream of mine to have goats. It was part of my vision in having a farm.

And so, my love, in cahoots with my children, surprised me last week, on the morning of my birthday, with two 9 week old Nubian goats awaiting me in the barn.

While giddy with joy, and hand feeding them too much grain, I couldn't help but think about Jasper and how he would love these goats as much as I did.

Jasper is our boy cat, who went missing on May 1st, the day we were traveling back from the yoga retreat in Tulum.

My favorite day, though filled with love and celebration, had a certain weight to it; an unspoken heaviness, a mourning.
And I thought, "Well that is truly just like life itself."
It made for a very contemplative and present birthday.

We are always holding many things in our hearts. We are, at once, mothers and daughters, friends and family, care givers and the taken care of.

If you have lived to a certain age, and have loved well, you have almost certainly experienced loss.
In the midst of grief, there is laughter, and in the midst of celebration, there is remembering.

These are the threads which make up the tapestry of our lives. Without them, the cloth would not be as large.
Make room for it all.


with so much love,
Kari